


Find Yourself in Times of Trouble

by Taupefox59



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alec Lightwood Deserves Nice Things, BAMF Isabelle Lightwood, Family Feels, Family Fluff, Gen, Good Parabatai Jace Wayland, Good Parent Maryse Lightwood, Hurt/Comfort, Lightwood Family, Maryse is a Shadowhunter, Sick Alec Lightwood, Sickfic, Soppy, Supportive Relationships, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-15
Updated: 2018-06-15
Packaged: 2019-05-23 14:03:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14935691
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Taupefox59/pseuds/Taupefox59
Summary: Magnus is away at the Spiral Labyrinth, when Alec falls sick with a nasty bug.Luckily for Alec, his family is at the Institute and they're determined to make sure that he gets better as soon as possible.





	Find Yourself in Times of Trouble

**Author's Note:**

> Not beta'd, so if you catch anything, please let me know!
> 
> Con/Crit always welcome.

Alec sighed and pinched at the bridge of his nose. What had started as a headache had steadily grown into something debilitating. He felt queasy, and knew that it was probably because he hadn’t eaten all day, but the very thought of food made him vaguely nauseous.

It took a lot for Shadowhunters to get sick, but they weren’t immune to everything, and every once in a while, there would be some strain of something that would hit pretty hard. The New York Institute had gone down pretty hard several weeks earlier, and Alec had thought that he’d managed to escape it. He winced as he tried to focus his eyes on the screen of his tablet. He knew that whatever luck had kept him from getting ill had finally run out.The frustration didn’t stem from the fact he was sick, but from the fact that the universe hated him, and he had to get sick when he couldn’t even go home to his boyfriend.

Magnus was in the Spiral Labyrinth for the next five days. It wasn’t that Alec needed magic or healing. He just...wanted to be able to sleep next to Magnus: to be able to go home, and have him there. For Magnus to be there, filling the space with magic and life.

As it stood though, Alec knew he wouldn’t be returning to the loft. Throughout the day he had continued to feel increasingly worse, and there was no reason for him to leave for an empty apartment, when he had an entire family here at the Institute. It was true that Magnus was gone, but Alec knew that he could still lean on his family. He didn’t like the idea of being alone. It was more than just being unwell. Alec had seen this sickness working through the people at the Institute. He had seen the way that it had sapped strength and stripped people of the ability to focus. It was beyond foolish to think that he would be alright alone. He wasn’t going to be the Shadowhunter who died of dehydration because he collapsed alone in his boyfriend’s loft.

Alec tried to focus on the paperwork in front of him, but the words kept blurring. He sighed. He wasn’t going to get anything useful done in this state. He shook his head, and then winced at the vertigo that followed. 

No, he wasn’t in any shape to go anywhere. He grabbed a piece of paper and his stele, jotting down a message for Magnus.

 

 

 

 

He lit the fire-message then let his head drop to his desk. He hadn’t actually asked Izzy if she could make it to the loft to feed the cats, but if she couldn’t do it, Alec was sure he could probably get Jace to do it. His parabatai had not-so-subtly mentioned he missed the cats several times after moving out of the loft and back to the Institute. 

Alec’s mind was fuzzy and his thoughts kept spinning off into tangents that didn’t help anyone and certainly didn’t involve getting any work done. He felt almost like he was on a ship, like his body was rocking back and forth even though he could tell he wasn’t moving. He put his head down on his desk for a moment, trying to breathe long enough that he felt stable in his chair. The wood of his desk was so cool and soothing. It was so dark when he let his eyes close...

Having Magnus around would be so lovely. Alec could feel himself smiling at the thought of it. There was something about the way that Magnus always seemed to be so warm, but the jewelry he adorned himself with always stayed cool. Magnus moved with intention and grace, the way he spoke was drenched in experience yet delivered with unflinching musicality...

That was also why it was so important for Magnus to be in the Spiral Labyrinth. Alec had other people who could help take care of him. No one else could do the magic that Magnus was working on.

It wasn’t self-sacrifice. It was understanding that they both had lives and responsibilities.  They would always be stronger together, but this was a part of that. Alec had other resources, other people he knew he could depend on. The people at the Institute weren’t Magnus, but Alec knew that they would take care of him. His family lived here. He’d been leaning on them for his entire life, and he knew that they would continue to support him for his entire life.

Alec shifted so that more of his overheated face was pressed against the cool wood of the desk, and blocked out the light with his arms. He would get back up in just a few moments. He was going to power through the last reports on his desk and then he would go find somewhere to sleep. He just had a few more things to get done first. And he would do them. Just. After a few more moments of enjoying the cool and dark that he’d found on his desk.

 

He wasn’t sure how much time had passed when he woke to the distinctive crackle of a fire message. 

   
  


Alec quickly grabbed a piece of paper.

  
  
 

He blinked hard and forced himself to sit up, reaching for his phone. He shot off a quick text to Izzy. Thankfully, he only had to wait a few moments before his phone buzzed back.

 

Alec sighed. Of course he’d have to explain to Isabelle. She would never agree to going to the loft if she didn’t know why he couldn’t make it. He adored his sister, and her relationship advice had truly been invaluable countless times. It was hard to remember that in this moment though, when all Alec wanted to do was sleep, and he was having a hard time stringing a sentence together.

He blinked hard, squeezing his eyes shut tight, and shook his head as if that would help to clear it of the fuzz that was fogging his thoughts. He was fairly certain he’d managed a coherent response.

A few seconds passed before Alec’s phone lit up again.

 

Alec sighed, but he figured that was alright. He’d always had a better time trying to explain things in person anyway. He wasn’t sure if he knew how to express it in text, that all he wanted to do was sleep and he didn’t want to be alone in the loft.

He didn’t live in the Institute anymore, hadn’t for a long while, but he knew there were guest rooms available for short-term use, and he wanted to be where there were people. He felt like something soggy and microwaved and the last thing he wanted was to be alone in the loft and feeling this way.

Even if he was just staying in the bland, neutral rooms that were utterly devoid of personality and kept for visiting Shadowhunters who didn’t have dignitary status. There was something comforting about knowing there were people nearby.

Alec knew he got a bit clingy when he was sick. He did his best to try and push it down as much as possible. Being sick didn’t mean that he got to interrupt other people’s lives. He knew that there were other things happening that were far more important. It was just that staying in his old room wouldn’t hurt anyone. He wouldn’t be in the way of anything. He could just  _ sleep _ , and take care of himself.

He knew he was moving slower and not at his best, so he would do what he could to try and make up for that.

Alec sighed. He really needed to get through the reports he was working on. It would be best if he could get them finished before Izzy showed up, because she had a tendency to take away his paperwork when he wasn’t well. He took another deep breath to push down the nausea.

He would just...just. Close his eyes for a moment. Just long enough to reset so things were a bit less blurry when he got started again.

 

When Izzy walked into the office, Alec was fast asleep, slumped over his desk.

 

“Oh,  _ hermano. _ ” Izzy said, softly, before walking over. She had to admit that he really did look terrible. He was pale except for a fevered flush. She shook his shoulder gently, but he startled hard at her touch.

He blinked up at her in confusion. “Izzy?”

“You’d sleep better in a bed, you know.”

He frowned at her. “What?”

“You should  _ go home _ , Alec.”

Alec’s mouth twisted for a moment. He knew that Isabelle would understand, but that didn’t mean he wanted to say it. “Magnus isn’t there.”

Understanding dawned for Isabelle. “That’s right. He’s at the Spiral Labyrinth.”

Alec gave a shallow nod. “He offered to come home, but I said I’d stay here.”

Isabelle raised an eyebrow. “You have talked to him, though?”

“Yeah. He’s only there for a few more days, but I’ll be fine until he gets back.”

“You know that part of getting better is taking care of yourself.”

“I know, Isabelle, I just need to finish these reports and then -”

“Or, you can let other people help you, so you don’t run yourself into the ground.”

Alec sighed, “I know, and I will, I just-”

“You just need to take care of yourself. You’re not good to anyone if you can’t focus.” She paused, “I know, Alec.”

He looked up at her, and knew he couldn’t deny her this. She’d worked so hard to get herself back from sickness, and he would never disrespect her experience by challenging her on this.

“Okay.”

“Okay?” Isabelle asked, somewhat shocked at the ease with which she managed to talk Alec around. Her brother was nothing if not stubborn, and getting him to take his own needs into account had never been the easiest thing to do.

“I - I can…” He paused, and then turned to his desk, trying to organize the stacks of paper that had accumulated on his desk. He turned to her, and pointed to one of the piles, “These are the requisitions that need to go out by tomorrow morning. Could you…?”

 

Isabelle smiled. “Of course, big brother.” She rubbed her hand along his shoulders, before stepping back to help him to his feet. He was swaying slightly as he stood, pale, and his skin looked clammy.

“Are you going to be okay?”

“Yeah.” He said, “I’m just going to sleep.”

“Okay. I’ll have these finished by morning.”

Alec gave a wan smile, and then pulled Isabelle in for a hug. “Thank you. I love you.”

“I love you, too, Alec. Now go get better.”

Alec could only smile and nod. “I’ll do my best.”

Isabelle gave him a light push towards the door. “Now get.”

He raised an eyebrow at her, but said nothing as he left the room. He had to admit that she had a point. He wasn’t even sure what time it was. It was dark outside, but he had no idea where the day had gone. It was a blur of of paperwork, and the haze of illness. He could feel the lethargy of sickness lingering in his muscles as he dragged his feet down the hallways towards the guest wing.

Malaise was the only reason he had to explain why he didn’t notice his mother in the hallways as he headed to towards the guest quarters. Maryse, however, was extremely aware of the sight of her son struggling down the hallways, clearly in no state to be upright, much less wandering around the Institute.

“Alec?”

He startled like he hadn’t seen her. “Mom?”

“Alec, sweetheart, what are you doing?”

“Uh.” He said, licking his lips, “I was...going to go sleep.”

“Your room is the other way.”

“I, ah.” He paused awkwardly, “I don’t have a room there anymore.”

Maryse frowned for a moment before realizing. “You gave up your room when you moved in with Magnus.”

“I didn’t use it. There was no reason to not reassign it.”

Maryse looked him over. “Are you heading to the guest quarters?”

“Magnus is gone. The Institute is stocked with everything to deal with this flu and I thought-”

Maryse cut him off. “Alec, sweetheart, stop.”

He stared at her in confusion.

“You’re not well.” Maryse said, “I’m not going to let you stay in the guest rooms.”

“What?” Alec knew there was something in his voice that was perilously close to a desperation, but the only option other than the guest rooms was staying in the healing wing. It was the last place that Alec wanted to go. He was fine with staying in the medical centre if he had to. He’d spent enough time there over the years, recovering from various injuries and misadventures.  It was different now. Now he was the Head of the Institute. It wasn’t like he was infallible, but he didn’t like the idea of being seen when he was so clearly unwell. “Mom, I don’t want to go to the infirmary, I just need to sleep it off.”

“Alec, no, that’s not what I meant.”

Alec squinted, taking his time to process what his mother was actually saying. He was having a hard time tracking through the sludge of sickness that felt like it was sinking deeper into him with every passing moment. The floor felt like it was tilting, and Alec kept having to blink to clear the spots from his vision.

Maryse saw Alec swaying where he stood, and decided that she didn’t need to see anymore. She walked over and put her arm around Alec’s waist, supporting him as she led him down the hallway. “Come on, Alec, let’s get you to bed.”

Alec nodded. Sleep sounded wonderful. Standing was exhausting. 

Alec didn’t want to go to the infirmary or cause trouble for anyone. Despite his desire to be as unobtrusive as possible, Alec couldn’t bring himself to pull away from his mother. “I dont - I don’t have-”

Maryse shushed him gently. “It’s alright Alec, I know.”

“But I-”

“We’re going to my room, okay, Alec?”

Alec stared at her. “I don’t want to take your room.”

Maryse sighed, and reached forward, brushing Alec’s hair off his forehead, feeling the sweat that was starting to build there. “Alec, honey, you’re not taking anything. Let me do this for you.”

Alec frowned weakly at her. He didn’t want to kick his mother out of her own bed, but his ears had started to ring, and with the haze in his vision, he knew it was only a matter of time before he passed out, regardless of where he was. “I think I need to sit down.”

 

Maryse frowned at him, before realizing that Alec seemed to look even worse than before, if that was possible. He looked positively grey, all of the colour gone from his face. She’d seen a similar look before and she knew that he would be hitting the ground soon whether he wanted to or not.

" Okay, honey, there’s a bench just down the hall, okay?”

Alec looked to be on the verge of collapse, blinking forcefully, trying valiantly to cling to consciousness. It was clear that battle was getting more difficult with every passing moment.

M aryse wasn’t waiting for a response. She wrapped an arm around Alec’s waist and pulled his arm over her shoulder, walking them through the hallways toward an alcove with a bench.

Alec collapsed onto it as soon as he was near enough, immediately dropping his head between his knees and taking deep, steady breaths.

Maryse sat down next to him and ran her hand along Alec’s back, making soothing noises. “I’m going to go get some water for you. Will you be okay here for a moment?”

Alec nodded, keeping his head down, trying to battle his vertigo. “I’m fine, Mom, honestly, I just need to sit here for a bit.”

Maryse frowned at him. Alec clearly wasn’t well, but she also knew that her son could be more than stubborn at the best of times. It was rare for Shadowhunters to get sick. The last time he’d been ill, she’d known what to do, he’d barely been seven at the time. Her job had been to make sure he stayed hydrated and didn’t spread his sickness to his siblings.

Things were so very different now. “Stay here until I come back.”

Alec made a noise that Maryse took to be assent. She took one last glance at her oldest child, slowly listing to the side as he sat on a bench, and then she turned and hurried towards the infirmary.

 

There were a few Shadowhunters in the infirmary recovering from their own boughts of the flu. Alec had certainly been correct in his assessment of the Institute being well stocked with the supplies to help fight the sickness. It took Maryse a few moments to explain her situation to one of the medics on duty, before she was sent away with two small bottles of potions to help Alec get over the flu as quickly and painlessly as possible.

Alec was where she’d left him on the bench, only he was mostly asleep, leaning back against the wall. Maryse walked forward and then sat next to him. She set her hand on his shoulder to gently see if he would wake.

Alec blearily blinked his eyes open before tipping his head to the side to look at her. “Mom?”

“We need to get to my room, okay Alec? Then you can sleep.”

Alec frowned. “Your room?”

“We’ve been over this already, Alec. Let me do this for you.”

Alec looked at her for a moment, and at first, Maryse thought that maybe he was going to protest, but the usual stubborn fire in his eyes was covered by the fog of illness. He leaned into her touch.

“‘M really tired.” His voice was soft and slurring a bit.

“I know, sweetheart.” Maryse said, and her heart ached with her love for her child. “Do you think you can stand? We need to get you to a bed so you can sleep.”

Alec closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths. Maryse was just about to shake him again, in case he’d fallen back to sleep, but he opened his eyes and nodded. “Okay. Right.” He took another deep breath. “I can - you’re sure you want me in your room?”

“Of course I am.” Maryse reached over and brushed back Alec’s hair from his face. “Are you ready to go?”

“Yeah.” Alec said, before hauling himself upright off the bench. He swayed as he stood, but the few minutes of rest on the bench had clearly done him good.

Maryse once again took her place by his side, wrapping her arm around his waist to help him navigate the hallways. They made steady progress, but it still took them a long few minutes to reached Maryse’s quarters.

Once they were there, Maryse found some of Robert’s old work-out clothes, and she sent Alec to change while she got the bed ready. 

 

Alec appeared a few minutes later, leaning on the door frame for support. He looked shock-white, and Maryse could see the haze of illness lingering on him.

“Uhm.” He said, licking his lips and blinking at her. “I, uh.”

“How about you just sleep for a bit.” Maryse said gently, as she finished turning down the covers on the bed.

“Thank you.” Alec said. The relief on his face was stark.

Maryse walked over to him. “Of course, Alec.” She paused. “I’m glad that you have Magnus, but I will always be here for you too.”

Alec looked at her for a moment, before stepping forward and pulling her into a hug. “Thank you.” He said again, his voice muffled as he tucked his face into her hair.

“Oh, Alec.” Maryse said, “I love you.” She could feel the weakness in his grip and the heat from his fevered body, but she just pulled him closer.

“I love you too.” He said.

Maryse just gave him another squeeze before stepping back. “Let’s get you to bed, alright?”

Alec tried to smile. “That sounds good.” He slowly made his way across the room walking carefully to combat the vertigo that was constantly pulling on the edges of his awareness. He paused when he got to the bead, leaning hard on the headboard, waiting for the black to clear from his vision. He was focusing on deep breaths when he felt the warm, steady hand of Maryse on the center of his back.

“Are you alright?” Maryse put her other hand on Alec’s shoulder to support him as he caught his breath.

Alec held a hand up, asking for a moment, focusing on breathing. Slowly, the ringing in his ears receded. He straightened up, and put his hand on his mother’s shoulder. “I’m good.”

“Alec.” Maryse was kind but chiding. 

He glanced up at his mother and gave her the shade of a smile. “I  _ will be _ fine?”

Maryse shook her head with a laugh. “You will be fine,” she agreed, “Rest now.”

“I know, Mom. I will.” 

The exhaustion was clear in his voice and in the minute shivers that ran through his body. He managed to get himself into the bed without incident, but he was went slow, taking care with every movement. He settled in against the pile of pillows that Maryse had put together for him.

“Thank you for this.” He took his mother’s hand. “You didn’t have to.”

“Alec.” Maryse said, cutting him off firmly, “It is my pleasure and my privilege. I love you.”

“I love you too.” He repeated softly.

Maryse reached over and gently brushed his hair away from his forehead. “Make sure you take your medicine before you fall asleep.”

“I will.” He said, with a nod.

Maryse stood and stepped away, giving Alec space to sit up and reach for the vials of medicine on the bed stand. He downed the medicine and then shifted back, settling deeper beneath the covers.

“I’ll be back to check on you later, alright?” Maryse said, pausing at the doorway out of the room.

Alec just pulled the blankets higher up his shoulders. “Thanks Mom.”

“Of course, Alec,” Maryse said, “Always.” She closed the door softly behind her as she left Alec to rest in the peace of the quiet room.   
  
  
Maryse knew that her first stop was going to be Alec’s office. She wasn’t the Head of the Institute anymore, but she’d held the position for years, and Alec didn’t have a second in place yet. It was the least she could do to make sure that at least the paperwork for basic maintenance and supplies got finished properly and submitted on time. The last thing she expected to see when she opened the door was Isabelle seated at Alec’s desk.

Izzy looked up as soon as the door opened. “Mom?”

“Isabelle.” Maryse said, the surprise clear in her tone. “What are you doing here?”

“Alec is sick,” Izzy sighed and rolled her eyes, “I found him in here asleep on his desk pretending he was getting work done.”

“I see.” Maryse said, starting to piece together what had sent Alec wandering the halls towards the guest wing.

“I kicked him out,” Izzy said, confirming Maryse’s suspicions, “I told him he wasn’t allowed to come back until he got some real sleep.”

Maryse nodded. “I found him on his way to the guest rooms.”

Isabelle gasped, “He was okay, wasn’t he?”

“He’s fine!” Maryse quickly assured, realizing the misunderstanding.  _ Finding _ someone didn’t necessarily mean that they were doing well. “He’s in my room, hopefully sleeping now.”

Izzy smiled. “Good. He needs it.”

Maryse could only agree. Slowly, she stepped further into the office. “I thought I might help with some of the paperwork, but if you’ve already got it under control…” She let the sentence trail off. Maryse knew that she had so often cut her daugher down in the past, in so many ways. Maryse was determined to do better now. Isabelle was a strong, confident and capable woman. Maryse knew that on some level, she had missed out on her chance to help her daughter navigate some of the most turbulent years of life; that she had, in fact, made difficult years even more difficult because she had been so caught up in her own fears to listen to the needs of her children.

Maryse was committed to changing her relationship with her children. If Isabelle needed support, Maryse would do everything she could to be there, but if Isabelle didn’t need help - as she so often didn’t - Maryse would step back, and give her daughter space to proceed however Isabelle deemed best.

Izzy looked at the paperwork spread before her on Alec’s desk, and then at her mother, standing tall in the doorway, not stepping in to take over, but instead waiting for Isabele to make a decision. “Actually, Mom, I have some of my own reports I need to get to. Maybe you could work on these while I finish those?”

It was a delicate and fragile truce between the two of them, and they both knew it. Despite the fraught history they shared though, they both wanted to make things better. There were so many things that Isabelle wasn’t sure if she would ever truly be able to forgive: moments when all she had needed was parental support and instead she had gotten derision and discipline. But Maryse was trying, and as much as she might some days want to pretend otherwise, Isabelle desperately wanted for her mother to succeed.

They couldn’t ever get the past back, but the future was open to both of them, if they wanted it.

For all the hurt in her past, Isabelle knew that she did. Her mother had always been a role model for her: strong and confident, absolutely unyielding when it came to defending her beliefs. Isabelle had spent so much of her life twisting herself in knots trying to gain the slightest hints of approval or affection from Maryse.

Now, the terms of their relationship would be very different, but the echoes of that need still rang through Isabelle’s heart. She  _ wanted _ to be able to sit down with her mother, she wanted to be able to ask her for advice, learn from her experiences. Isabelle wanted to know that on her bad days, when her skin itched and her body cried out for the decadent freedom of getting high, that she could count on her mother for support.

Nothing could take back the mistakes of their past, but Isabelle wanted to build a new future, and to do that, she had to give her mother the opportunity to try.

Isabelle stood up and pulled another chair over, giving Maryse a space to work. After passing on Alec’s instructions and explaining his hastily-organized filing system to her mother, Izzy pulled out her own tablet and got to work finishing the latest request for weapons to commision from the Iron Sisters.

The two women worked together at one desk, mostly in silence, but for once, the feeling between them was one of commerarderie and companionship.

  
  
  
  


Alec wasn’t sure what time it was when he finally woke up, but the sun was far too golden for it too be anything other than late morning, at best. He was no stranger to late mornings - it came from the lifestyle of all-night patrols, but ever since he’d taken his position as Head of the Institute, they had become something of a rarity. Standard patrols were delegated out, leaving Alec to work on special projects, but also diplomacy and pleasing the Clave. Alec had fallen into a pattern of leaving the institute late in the evening to be home to spend the night with Magnus, and having enough time for breakfast at the loft before returning to work.

None of which prepared him for ...still being asleep in his mother’s room at noon the next day.

Alec blinked, and slowly worked through the lingering aches of sickness. If he was gauging from watching other Shadowhunters he probably had two or three more days to go before he fully managed to get over the flu.

It was one thing to take his mother’s bed for what was meant to be a single afternoon. He had meant to get enough sleep to take off the edge, and then move to a guest room. Maryse had been very clear that he was welcome, but he didn’t want to take her room - her  _ bed _ . It wasn’t right for him to be in her space and her to be - what, camping out in a guest room? That was the last thing that Alec had ever wanted to do.

Slowly, he pushed the covers of the bed back, and gently placed his feet on the floor. The cold of the hardwood floor was a nasty temperature shock from the warm comfort of the bed, but it hardly mattered.

He needed to give his mother her space back. He trusted Isabelle to get the necessary paperwork finished properly and turned in on time, but he really hadn’t set up his office in any way. He needed to spend at least a few hours going through everything to make sure that the files that needed to be finished were even accessible to people who weren’t him.

It wouldn’t take all day, just a few hours at most. And then he’d get his next dose of medicine from the infirmary and set himself up in a guest room, just as he’d meant to the day before.

Alec stood, and dark spots nearly overwhelmed his vision. It took several long moments of not moving until his sight cleared. His entire body ached. He felt like the air had somehow become dense enough to create drag on his limbs. He felt not quite connected to himself, his mind caught in the impenetrable haze of sickness. His head was pounding. He could feel the nausea rising in his throat. He made a point to breathe slow and swallow it all back.

He just needed to be careful and move slow. There was no reason for him to be in anyone’s way, but he wasn’t going to be stupid about it. He knew there was no way that he was going to be useful until he got better. As he was now, he could barely keep his eyes open long enough to focus on something before the world started tilting again.

Alec spared a thought for  _ just how much _ he detested being sick. It didn’t happen often. Shadowhunters were built to be able to resist most things. He’d only ever really been sick once before in his life, when he was very young. He could barely remember it. He mostly remembered… being tucked in to his mother’s bed, and being told very firmly that he was not to visit with Isabelle, as she might catch whatever he had.

More than two decades had passed, but some things apparently hadn’t changed. His clearest memory of the day before was still getting tucked in to his mother’s bed.

It wasn’t the bed that he shared with Magnus at the loft, but Alec couldn’t deny the warmth that curled in his chest, knowing that he could sleep and his mom would be there to take care of him.

With a steady breath, Alec slowly stood all the way up, and stepped away from the bedframe he had been using as support. He’d managed about three unsteady steps when the door opened.

“Oh, come on.” Jace’s voice was unimpressed, as he walked into the room and closed the door behind him. “What the hell are you doing up?”

“I thought-”

“Yeah, no, actually, I don’t really care. Get back in bed, Alec.”

“Jace.” Alec said, and he was trying to be firm, but his voice was too weak to carry even the slightest hints of authority.

Jace just shook his head, and walked over, moving to support his stubborn parabatai. “I know you weren’t trying to do something stupid like go back to work.” Jace said sarcastically, raising an eyebrow.

“I wasn’t!” Alec prostested, trying to feebly resist as Jace guided him back to the bed.

“Sure you weren’t buddy. You forget that I know you.”

“I wasn't.” Alec repeated, with a huff.

“Then where exactly were you trying to go?”

Alec paused, realizing that Jace probably wouldn’t think too highly of his plan to go hide out in an empty corner of the Institute. “I wasn’t going to go do work.” Alec finally decided.

“I’ll believe that one when I see it,” Jace scoffed, “Izzy said she found you asleep at your desk yesterday. I could imagine you trying to run mission from the ops center like this.”

“Jace.” Alec said, starting to get genuinely upset. “I would never work in any condition that could people in trouble. I know better than that. I know that I can’t be running things right now. I would  _ never _ put people in danger like that.”

 

Jace turned and faced his brother, quickly realizing that he’d pushed too far with his teasing. “Hey, no, you’re right. I didn’t mean it like that. I know that you won’t let anybody get hurt on your watch.”

“I can’t -” Alec paused and licked his lips. This was  _ so important _ , and he couldn't think, couldn’t find words through the film of illness coating his mind. “I  _ will not _ mess this up, Jace. There can’t be any stupid mistakes. If I fuck something up, because I’m trying to push through and I make a bad call, I can’t get that back.” Alec shook his head and then immediately reached for Jace as his balance failed him.

Alec closed his eyes, trying to fight back the waves of frustration crashing over him. This wasn’t what he wanted. He knew the only reason that he was this upset was because he couldn’t think past the sickness. He was  _ weak _ and he was  _ failing _ , and he should be stronger than this, because he knew he  _ could _ be. 

There was no reason that he should be feeling this upset form Jace’s well-meant teasing. It was because he was compromised. Intellectually, Alec understood all of that. It didn’t stop the hurt that was sliding through his veins. He tried  _ so hard _ . It had been a learning curve, and Alec knew it was still something he needed to work on, but he had learned. Magnus had helped immeasurably, but Alec understood that if he wanted to maintain any kind of position of authority, he had to take care of himself.

He couldn’t help anyone, if he was too worn down to actually be able to do anything when he was needed. Alec still had plenty of late nights, and it was far more common than it should have been for him to lose track of time and be late for dinner.

He tried though, and he  _ was _ getting better.

Alec would admit his first instinct was still denial. His second thought though, was to take a moment to look through his pride. Yes, Izzy had found him asleep at his desk, but she’d offered her help, and Alec hadn’t fought her. He’d accepted her assistance. He was trying so hard to do what was right for the Institute, even if it meant that he had to step back and let other people work.

" Whoa, hey, Alec.” Jace didn’t know what was going on in Alec’s head, but he could feel the spike of negative emotion swirling through his parabatai. Jace pulled Alec in for a hug. “Hey, hey. buddy. You’re okay.”

Alec could feel the strong arms of his parabatai, as well as the the love and strength that Jace was pushing through their bond, and he took a moment to let it seep in to him. This was why he was staying at the Institute. Because he had people there who would take care of him, even if he started to spiral. Alec hadn’t even realized how closed off he’d been before he’d met Magnus. He was still learning to let people in, but at every turn people were there for him as soon as he asked for their support. 

“Jace-”

Jace cut him off before Alec could get any farther. “No, Alec, it’s okay.” Jace held on to his brother for just a little while longer before releasing him. “Are you okay?”

Alec almost nodded, and then thought better of it. “Yeah. I mean - I’m as good as can be.”

Jace laughed. “Yeah, you look like shit, Alec.”

Alec leveled  a weak glare at him. “Thanks.”

“I am here to help, though. So, what do you need?”

Alec paused. “I was going to see if Mom needed her room back.” He said slowly, figuring that he might as well tell Jace the truth.

“She doesn’t.” Jace said with casual confidence.

“Of course she does.” Alec protested.

Jace shook his head. “No, Alec, she really doesn’t.” He stopped and looked Alec in the eye, “She’s actually sleeping in Izzy’s room right now.”

Alec’s mind went blank at that. “What?”

Jace smiled, but it wasn’t the fake, showy bravado he could call up at a moment’s notice. This was the small, tender thing that was reserved for the things that Jace was afraid to hope for. “Yeah. I found them working together in your office last night. Maryse actually took Izzy’s overnight patrol so Izzy could finish her reports for the Iron Sisters.”

Alec had no idea what to say. He knew that Isabelle had always had a rough relationship with their mother - they had all had tough times with their parents, but Isabelle and Maryse in particular always seemed to be at odds with each other. Alec couldn’t count the hours that he’d spent with Isabelle, listening to his sister work through the pain of her broken relationship with their mom. To hear that they were working together was something that Alec had barely dared to hope for at this point in his life.

Maryse was working so hard to make changes in her lifestyle, and rebuild the relationships that she had fractured with her single-minded dedication to the Clave. It was hard to work past years of strife though. Hearing that Isabelle was at a point where not only could she work together with their Mom, but also willing share her space felt like Alec was getting a bone reset that he hadn’t even realized was broken. 

“Where is Izzy?” Alec finally asked.

“Izzy’s on patrol.” Jace said. “I had been filing the monthly supply reports for the Clave, but then you got up, and I thought I’d come check on you.”

“You were filing reports?”

“Of course I was.” Jace said, “I’ve got your back, Alec. Always.”

“I know that.” Alec said, without any hesitation. “I know you do.”

“Sometimes that’s in a fight. Sometimes that’s behind a desk.” Jace said softly. “Wherever you need me, I’m there for you, parabatai.”

Alec could only smile. He reached over and pulled Jace in for another hug. They both sunk into it, letting the physical contact say the worlds that they had always struggled with. There was a reason that they had bound themselves together all those years ago, and there wasn’t a single moment that either of them ever regretted it. They were shield brothers, committed to supporting each other in every way they could, forever.

Eventually, Jace pulled away. “Maryse said that you took some medicine last night. Have you had anything since?”

“No,” Alec said, “Honestly, I’ve been asleep since then. I had only just woke up when you came in.”

A look of shock crossed Jace’s features. “Alec, I’m impressed!”

“What?”

“You never sleep this much,” Jace said, “It’s nearly two in the afternoon.”

Alec’s jaw dropped open. “What?”

“Yeah.” Jace nodded. “Okay, so if you just got up, are you hungry?”

“I’m not actually hungry, but I think I should probably eat something anyway.”

“Good call.”

Alec paused for a moment and took stock. “I also want to shower.”

Jace gave him a long look. “You promise you won’t pass out on me? I don’t want to have to drag your unconscious ass out of the shower.”

Alec huffed out a laugh. “I promise.”

“Okay, how about this,” Jace said, running a hand through his hair. “I’m going to go get you some food and some more medicine while you do that. We can have lunch together when you’re done?”

“That sounds good.” Alec agreed. It did sound good. It also sounded exhausting, but Alec knew it would be worth it. He could feel the clammy fever-sweat that coated his skin, and even though he was starting to feel fatigue from just standing, he knew that he would feel so, so much better after he was clean.

“Alright.” Jace said, stepping away. “You promise not to pass out. I won’t forgive you if you’re lying to me.”

“I’ll be fine, Jace.” Alec said, flatly.

“I’m trusting you Alec.” Jace said, with fake gravitas.

“Just go get lunch.” Alec said, rolling his eyes.

“Yes, sir!” Jace snarked back, before turning and leaving the room. Alec smiled after him.

 

Alec wasn’t well, and he knew he still had a few more days to go before he’d be feeling anything even remotely close to better, but it would be okay. His family was there to support him. Magnus had offered to drop everything to leave the spiral labyrinth. His siblings had been there for him as they always had been, and his mother was doing everything she could to support them all, as they worked together to build a new world.

He missed Magnus, as he always did when either of them had to leave for a length of time, but that was their strength. Their relationship wasn’t based on physical proximity. They supported each other to follow their own strengths. Alec knew that one of his biggest sources of strength was the love and care of his family.

It wasn’t always easy, but it was always,  _ always _ worth it.

Alec was fresh and clean from his shower, waiting for Jace to get back with food, and found himself scrounging through his dirty clothes for his stele.  


 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> I'm [on tumblr](http://taupefox59.tumblr.com/) and [here on twitter](https://twitter.com/Taupefox_59)!
> 
> #saveshadowhunters


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